Marriage After 50

This year, Eddie and I are blessed to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. It has been quite a ride together, as we’ve weathered through lots of challenges and so many of life’s joys. We’ve decided to take a trip of a lifetime on a cruise throughout Italy, and will be celebrating lots of wonderful milestones from my 60th birthday to Eddie’s 65th.

It’s hard to believe that we’ve spent four decades together! I think y’all can agree that making sure you find time for some romance in your marriage takes a lot of determination and hard work. It definitely wasn’t easy, especially in the beginning when I was extremely busy building Bridals by Lori into a successful business. When our children, Mollie and Cory, were so young it seemed like our lives were focused on either the kids or the business, with little room for much of anything else. 

But even when the days were filled with homework and after school activities, late night inventory checks and balance sheet budgeting, Eddie and I always made sure we found time for one another. I wish I could tell you the one secret for a happy and healthy marriage, but it really is so individual! Here are a couple of tips to help keep the romance alive in your marriage, no matter how long you’ve been together:

Photographer: Blush & Bonnet Co.

    1. Make Time to Communicate – I know that date nights out of the house aren’t always realistic, especially if you’ve still got kids at home or you’re working full time. For us, we made sure that if we couldn’t leave the house for a date night, that we would have one at home. Sometimes, that was just simply sitting down and talking to each other, while other nights we would curl up with a movie, delicious take out and a much needed talk about topics other than work or kids. You’d be surprised at how much intimacy can be shared over meaningful conversation.  

 

    1. Disconnect to Reconnect – It’s so easy nowadays for two people to never really talk, especially with our smart phones and tablets getting in the way. Before the advent of devices, there were always other distractions from work deadlines to whatever game was on TV. It’s so important to schedule in some disconnecting time where y’all can just reconnect with each other. Put your phones away at the dinner table or go for a long walk– and turn off all the pinging and ringing of notifications, and save the devices for another time. Those emails and text messages can wait while you spend some much needed time with your partner.

 

  1. Nurture Your Shared Interests – It wasn’t always easy to find time to spend on our shared interests, especially since it was very important for us to foster the interests of our children. But we always made sure to continue to nurture our shared interests, which is really what drew us together initially. From grilling out and eating out, to hosting friends and family, to weekend getaways in Charleston where we fell in love, we made sure to continue to spend time on the things we love to do together. Like laughing and having fun!

4. Empty Nest Transition – Sadly, we know way too many people whose marriages ended once their kids moved away. Fortunately, we had the foresight to think through to becoming empty nesters, and made sure that we nurtured our marriage every step of the way so that we weren’t suddenly strangers sharing a house together. Not everyone is in our position, but it’s not too late to reconnect with your spouse. Start dating each other again! Develop new hobbies or plan a trip together. Work on reconnecting so you can reignite that spark of romance in your marriage. 

What’s your secret to keeping the romance alive in your marriage? Keep it clean and share with us in the comments.

Until next time,

Lori Allen